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Our Tiny, Useless Hearts

Our Tiny, Useless Hearts

Toni Jordan


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  • awardShortlisted, Australian Book Design Awards, Commercial FIction, 2017
  • Henry has ended his marriage to Caroline and headed off to Noosa with Mercedes’ grade three teacher, Martha.

    Caroline, having shredded a wardrobe-full of Henry’s suits, has gone after them.

    Craig and Lesley have dropped over briefly from next door to catch up on the fallout from Henry and Caroline’s all-night row.

    And Janice, Caroline’s sister, is staying for the weekend to look after the girls because Janice is the sensible one. A microbiologist with a job she loves, a fervent belief in the beauty of the scientific method and a determination to make a solo life after her divorce from Alec.

    Then Craig returns through the bedroom window expecting a tryst with Caroline and finds Janice in her bed, Lesley storms in with a jealous heart and a mouthful of threats, Henry, Caroline and Martha arrive back from the airport in separate taxis—and let’s not even get started on Brayden the pizza guy.

    Janice can cope with all that. But when Alec knocks on the door things suddenly get complicated. 

    Harnessing the exquisite timing of the great comedies to the narrative power and emotional intelligence for which she is famous, Toni Jordan brings all her wit, wisdom and flair to this brilliant, hilarious novel.

    FEATURES

    ‘Toni Jordan, Anna Karenina and Our Tiny, Useless Hearts.’ Toni Jordan at the Text blog
    ‘Farce, In and Out of the Bedroom.’ Toni Jordan at the Wheeler Centre

    INTERVIEW

    Listen to Toni’s interview with Booktopia on Soundcloud.

    EXTRACT

    Read an extract from Our Tiny, Useless Hearts on our blog. 

    Toni Jordan
    About the Author

    Toni Jordan is the author of four novels. The international bestseller Addition (2008), was a Richard and Judy Bookclub pick and was longlisted for the Miles Franklin award. Fall Girl (2010) was published internationally and has been optioned for film, and Nine Days was awarded Best Fiction at the 2012 Indie Awards, was shortlisted for the ABIA...

    Read Moreright
    Extent:
    288pp
    Format:
    Paperback
    Text publication date:
    3 January 2017
    ISBN:
    9781925498097
    AU Price:
    $22.99
    NZ Price:
    $30.00
    Australian
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    Praise for Toni Jordan
    andOur Tiny, Useless Hearts

    ‘A new Toni Jordan is always a special pleasure and her latest is a wonderful, witty treat of a novel: cutting and clever, and yet so very romantic, as though P. G. Wodehouse had satirised life in the suburbs.’

    ‘A highly entertaining romp through the complexities of modern relationships…A classic farce in the style of Wilde’s The Importance of Being Earnest, complete with physical comedy, exaggerated situations and a spot of class commentary in the form of suburban satire, Our Tiny Useless Hearts is loads of fun and clever too.’

    ‘Laugh-out-loud funny, yet with real emotion at its core, this is a sexy-smart rom-com about love and marriage…I loved it.’

    ‘Reading in public may garner disapproval due to the inelegant snorting, snickering and laughing out loud which is inevitable…An absolute pleasure to read.’

    ‘Crisp and clever…Jordan doesn’t cheat readers on the romance, either – conjuring a flawless but vividly rendered romantic hero and a love story that feels fresh and sexy.’

    ‘Crafty, clever and comical…Take a little of Shakespeare’s The Comedy of Errors, mix well with Oscar Wilde’s The Importance of Being Earnest, then set characters in one home, say in Carnegie, and you may begin to understand the wit in this delicious classic farce.’

    ‘A concoction of robust jokes, observations both profound and pat and a very nice visual humour, Our Tiny, Useless Hearts rips along.’

    ‘A funny, cleverly written story about the ups and downs of relationships…The suburban love triangles channels slapstick lunacy and farce so effectively, you can almost hear The Benny Hill Show theme playing in the background.’

    ‘An enjoyable romp full of bed-swapping antics, lies and subterfuge…Full of wit and sparkle…In between the hilarious coupling shenanigans the novel is a clever suburban satire and a sly nod to Tolstoy’s Anna Karenina.’

    ‘That Toni Jordan’s new novel manages to be a full-length fiction that simultaneously operates as a hugely enjoyable farce and an emotionally rich domestic drama is a testament to her skills as a writer and the charm of her voice.’

    ‘Farce entertains through exaggerated and improbable situations and Jordan has nailed that sentiment in this novel.’

    ‘A classic bedroom farce with snappy dialogue and egocentric yet endearing characters…To describe Our Tiny, Useless Hearts as eminently readable is no aspersion; this comedy is perfectly calibrated to encourage glimpses of our own foibles in characters writ suburban-large – behaving badly, seeking forgiveness, and, sometimes, making amends.’

    ‘The action is fast-paced and deliciously witty…14 carat comedy gold.’

    ‘A delicious satire…Farce, wit and repartee ensue in a quick-paced, highly controlled plot…A highly involving and enjoyable read.’

    ‘A real treat – a witty and original romp through modern – day relationships that feels like the literary equivalent of an Australian TV drama…Our Tiny, Useless Hearts is more than just funny, sharp entertainment. It’s also a clever and informed exploration of marriage, love and lust, and a study of the modern family - messy, dysfunctional and tied together with bonds that are, often frustratingly, unbreakable.’

    ‘A lively romcom full of witty humour and daft characters…Toni Jordan is an astute observer of the absurdity of 21st century life.’

    ‘Farcical yet real at the same time, this will have you laughing out loud.’

    ‘Marriage is complicated—and sometimes hilarious—in this novel…Jordan’s dialogue is quick and witty, her writing is sharp, and the plot is fast-paced. However, the story’s heart comes from the way it deals with the serious issues (like infidelity and infertility) that hide underneath the humor. A funny, pleasant look at love, forgiveness, and second chances.’

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